“Religion that is pure and undefiled before God the Father is this: to visit the orphans and the widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.” (James 1:27)

How should pastors and church leaders respond when behaviors of domestic abuse and violence emerge in the church? While these situations often lurk in the shadows behind marriages that look fine on the surface, our congregations are a microcosm of the broader society, where violence and abuse affect many couples. We will need to deal with these heartbreaking and confusing situations, as we do with various other sinful issues. 

First, we must not ignore the issue. Just as we reference many issues from the pulpit, this is one that should be addressed. Our congregations need to hear that domestic abuse in any form is not from God and that there is help in the church for those who need it. Too often, abuse is minimized or hidden within the church behind our views of submission, a bias that good people would not abuse others, or our high view of marriage, stating that a woman (most often) must stay with an abusive spouse. If we think abuse will not happen in our congregation, we are fooling ourselves. We must be clear that such behavior is wrong and unacceptable, and that pathways to help are available both inside and outside the church..

We also need to acknowledge that men in church leadership often have a poor track record of dealing with instances of abuse, especially when the victim is a woman. Further, the abused may not be willing to disclose her truth to a man, especially if the abuser is a man. This is why I recommend that congregations train a group of women, in their congregations, who are empowered to come alongside pastors and elders in shepherding the needs of the abused. Our own church has chosen to engage Called to Peace Ministries as a resource partner to provide us with the support and training we need for these situations. Called to Peace Ministries has helped us equip and train our leaders and advocate for women. Our desire has been to respond biblically, appropriately, and compassionately to the devastating realities of abuse.

Pastors also ought to educate themselves on the dynamics of abuse. I am amazed at how often the abuser is an elder, ministry leader or person of influence in the church— sometimes even the pastor himself. We need to be conversant with the signs of abuse and have open eyes to the needs around us. Additionally, we need to recognize our own limitations in dealing with abusive situations, which is why it is good to have trained individuals in the church who can be advocates for those involved, as well as partnerships with other organizations in the community that are well equipped to support vulnerable women. 

Part of knowing the signs of abuse and a proper response is understanding the reporting requirements. We may discover spouses or, in some cases, minors who are subject to violence or sexual abuse. Never ignore mandatory reporting laws, as they are meant to protect the abused and hold the abuser accountable. 

Finally, we ought to prioritize the protection of vulnerable adults and minors in the church through our policies and procedures. Scripture has much to say about the most vulnerable among us, such as the widows, orphans and foreigners. Whoever the vulnerable may be under our care, the call of the Gospel and mandate of the church compels us to give them “special care” so that they are seen, known, and watched out for.

None of us wants to end up in the news as a church that didn’t deal properly with abuse within their congregation. Not just because of the bad publicity that would result, but because it would mean that we have been blind to the victims of abuse among us, and have failed to properly tend to the flock.

So, pastors, let us commit ourselves to being honest, aware, and educated as we build teams of advocates in our churches who will champion this issue for the cause of the Gospel and the health of God’s church.

For the Gospel…and for the vulnerable, 

Dr. Keith M. Doyle (M.A, MBU; M.A, TIU, D.Min, SBTS)

Senior Pastor, Calvary Bible Church (Appleton, Wisconsin)