It never ceases to amaze me how blind people can be when it comes to conflict– always ready to blame and never willing to look at themselves. I shouldn’t be surprised, because I did it for most of my life, but oh my goodness, things go so much better when we are willing to be honest with ourselves, and when we get down off our “thrones” and leave judgment to God.

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Honestly, I think the most damaging thing is that pastors place ALL the responsibility on the wife’s shoulders to do things to “change him.” It never works. What’s really needed is swift and strong action against him- if just one person had looked at my ex and said “You are NOT going to treat her this way or there will be consequences” and then did exactly that—he wouldn’t have continued, then and now.

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In counseling it’s not uncommon to find people who are upset with God. They are angry that he is allowing them to suffer unjustly, or that he didn’t stop the latest affliction in their lives. Many have faced one horrible experience after another to the point I become heartbroken, and find myself joining them in asking God why he allowed so much misery. Yet, we often forget that our God did not merely leave us here to suffer alone. He came and entered into our suffering to the fullest extent possible. Sometimes knowing that is all we need to know, because there is great comfort in the “fellowship of his suffering” (Phil. 3:10).

“Christine’s” Church Introduced Her to Love After Abuse
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“Christine’s” Church Introduced Her to Love After Abuse

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[et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” da_disable_devices=”off|off|off” global_colors_info=”{}” da_is_popup=”off” da_exit_intent=”off” da_has_close=”on” da_alt_close=”off” da_dark_close=”off” da_not_modal=”on” da_is_singular=”off” da_with_loader=”off” da_has_shadow=”on”][et_pb_row admin_label=”Row” _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text admin_label=”Text” _builder_version=”4.16″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”] As told by “Christine,” and written by Lauren Rose I separated from my husband three times because of the abuse, but I was blessed that God placed me…