As told by Sandra, written by Lauren Rose

I entered my marriage because I wanted to provide a stable home for my son. I married a man whom I saw as  a devoted Christian, who needed support raising his five children because his former wife left them because of her addiction. Very quickly after we married, the relationship began to reveal patterns of coercive control, manipulation, and spiritual abuse.

My husband controlled all of our finances and major decisions, and used distorted interpretations of Scripture to demand my submission. He refused to let me work, but demanded that I often work 12 hour days to make his failing business succeed, homeschool our six children, and run our household alone. He also isolated me from my church and from trusted relationships. Any failure in his business or at home was blamed on me. 

As his alcohol use increased, his behavior became more volatile and abusive in our home. He encouraged the children to disrespect me, and his older children physically abused my son. Living under ongoing intimidation and instability, I experienced chronic, debilitating anxiety that affected my sense of safety, my decision-making, and my ability to function day to day. I stayed for seventeen years trying to make things work. 

My healing journey began when a friend introduced me to Called to Peace Ministries (CTPM). During my first call with an advocate, I was finally able to name the coercive control and abuse I had experienced. For the first time, I understood that abuse isn’t only physical; up until then, I believed that if I wasn’t being hit, it wasn’t abuse. That clarity became the foundation for my healing and restoration.

I began attending the weekly online Support Group, which became a place where I could share openly and receive prayer. Advocacy Support gave me a safe place to ask questions and receive guidance, helping me navigate challenges and make safety plans.

When I fled my home to seek safety in December 2024, I did so with clarity and resolve – but without immediate stability, which was scary. Due to the limited resources I had because of the financial abuse, I faced housing insecurity as I began rebuilding my life. CTPM’s Emergency Fund stepped in to cover one month of housing, allowing me to move into a safe home while I secured employment. Through that provision, I felt God’s love and care for me in a very real and tangible way.

A Retreat Scholarship allowed me to attend the 2025 women’s healing retreat, where worship, teaching, and Christ-centered community brought renewed hope. I gained clarity about coercive control and the cycles of abuse and, for the first time, didn’t feel alone. 

Today, I am working and attending college full-time, pursuing a future as a paralegal. I’m also enrolled in CTPM’s Advocacy Course and am excited to use my story to help others. The Advocacy Course is giving me the tools and support to do just that. I am finding my voice and confidence again.

For the first time in years, I’m living with peace and stability, no longer defined by the fear and anxiety that once consumed me. I truly wouldn’t be where I am today – emotionally, spiritually, or physically – without Called to Peace Ministries. From the very beginning, I felt heard, loved, and truly seen. Words can’t fully express my gratitude for the heart and care CTPM pours into everything they do.