As told by Diana, written by Lauren Rose 

For years, I thought the problem in my marriage was me.

I had read the marriage books. I knew the verses. I wanted to honor God, love my husband well, and be the wife I believed Scripture called me to be. So when things in my marriage felt wrong, I assumed I just needed to try harder.

And I did.

I got up at 4:30 every morning to make my husband breakfast and pack his lunch. I bought him small gifts with the few dollars I could scrape together. I wrote notes, planned special things for him, and invited him to do devotions with me. I stopped confiding in friends at church because I wanted to protect his reputation. I believed that if I loved him better, served him better, and prayed harder, maybe he would love me.

I poured everything I had into saving my marriage.

What I didn’t understand was that no amount of serving, sacrificing, or self-denial could fix what was actually happening.

I was living in an abusive marriage.

My husband used power and control to dominate our home. If I raised concerns, I was told I was too sensitive. If I questioned his relationships with other women, I was accused of being insecure. He controlled finances while our family faced foreclosure. When I would try to talk to him about our finances, he was dismissive towards me and minimized my fears. There were objects thrown in anger, financial chaos, constant blame, and a growing realization of fear that I could never do enough to keep the peace in our family. Over time, I stopped trusting my own instincts and started believing that if I were a better wife, things would get better.

As a mother of six children, I wasn’t just trying to survive for myself. I was trying to protect my children while carrying the weight of a marriage that felt increasingly impossible to hold together.

I was exhausted, confused, and drowning.

The breaking point came when I discovered messages between my husband and another woman. Desperate for help, I reached out to trusted people, hoping someone would finally help me make sense of what I was experiencing. Instead, I often left those conversations feeling more confused and more convinced that I must somehow be the problem.

Then God opened a different door.

After a call with Focus on the Family, I was connected with a counselor who introduced me to resources from Leslie Vernick, Joy Forrest, Chris Moles, and eventually Called to Peace Ministries.

For the first time, I had language for what I was experiencing.

I learned about coercive control, gaslighting, blame-shifting, minimization, and emotional abuse. I learned that what was happening wasn’t simply marital conflict. It wasn’t just a difficult season. It was abuse.

Called to Peace Ministries helped me untangle Scripture that had been used to keep me trapped. Passages that once felt heavy and condemning became sources of freedom and hope. I began to understand God’s heart for the oppressed and the vulnerable. For the first time, I understood that my worth was not determined by how my husband treated me, but by the God who created me in His image.

Through the years, CTPM surrounded me with people who reflected the heart of Christ. 

My advocate became a consistent source of encouragement to me in the darkest season of my life. My advocate called regularly, listened to my grief, and helped me get a scholarship for CTPM’s annual women’s retreat. She reminded me that God was still my Good Shepherd, even in the middle of devastating loss.

I joined the advocacy training through CTPM, and something unexpected happened. My eyes began opening not only to my own suffering, but to the suffering of others around me.

I started noticing women in my church who were experiencing abuse. I learned how to listen, ask better questions, and walk alongside survivors. When a trusted church leader was later charged with sexually abusing a minor, CTPM had equipped me to recognize warning signs, support victims, document concerns, and help bring truth into the light. Pastor Dan Boeck helped me navigate this and protect the vulnerable. 

Called to Peace Ministries didn’t simply help me survive my own story. It equipped me to help others.

At the same time, I was making a different choice.

I was choosing to stay well in my marriage.

For me, staying well meant continuing to pursue healing, establishing healthy boundaries, growing in truth, and refusing to lose myself in the process. It meant learning that my value came from God, not from someone else’s treatment of me. It meant choosing health, wisdom, and growth one day at a time, even when my circumstances didn’t immediately change.

Because I chose to stay well, God continued to heal and strengthen me. And while I couldn’t see it at the time, He was also preparing me for financial healing.

There was a season when I stood in grocery store checkout lines wondering if I could afford to feed my children. We were facing foreclosure. Some weeks I wasn’t sure how we would make it. I remember returning groceries, praying over bills, and wondering how I would keep food on the table for six children.

Then a friend who owned a commercial cleaning company saw something in me that I couldn’t see in myself. She encouraged me to start a cleaning business.

I laughed because I thought she was crazy.

Today, that business—Clean Hearts LLC—has become one of God’s greatest gifts in my life.

What started as a single opportunity has grown into a thriving business serving residential clients, commercial clients, and local Airbnbs. I now employ some of my older children, have paid off more than $15,000 in debt, and have experienced a level of financial stability I once thought was impossible.

That is why I became a Business for Good Partner with Called to Peace Ministries.

A portion of my business supports the same ministry that helped change my life.

But the greatest blessing isn’t financial.

Called to Peace Ministries taught me how to see people.

I came to Called to Peace Ministries as a survivor who was barely holding on.

Today, I serve as an advocate. I lead Restore Groups. I walk alongside women who feel trapped and alone. I help survivors find language for their experiences and hope for their future.

I have watched God redeem pain I never thought could be redeemed.

Because someone supported Called to Peace Ministries, I found help when I desperately needed it. Because I found help, I am now able to help others.

That is the impact of your generosity.

Your monthly support provides biblical, trauma-informed care, advocacy, training, restore groups, and community for women searching for answers and hope. It helps survivors move from confusion to clarity, from isolation to connection, and from merely surviving to truly thriving.

I am living proof that healing is possible.

And because of partners like you, more women will discover they are loved, chosen, worthy, and enough.