Written by Joy Forrest, Founder of Called to Peace Ministries
When Anna met Tom, she was swept off her feet by the way he lavished her with unending affirmation, gourmet meals, frequent gifts, and more. Tom seemed to be in awe of Anna, wanting to know everything there was to know about her. They had so much in common—from their deep faith in God to chocolate covered pretzels. They were both amazed by their incredible compatibility. In her entire life, Anna had never felt so loved. Neither doubted that their union was ordained by God, and they married within a few months.
On the first night of their honeymoon, things changed drastically. Tom was upset with Anna for spending too much time getting ready for dinner. He punished her by barely speaking throughout the meal, and things deteriorated from there. By the time the night was over, Anna felt discarded. She couldn’t understand what happened, but one thing was for sure, he husband had suddenly lost all interest and delight in her. It seemed no matter what she did to try to win his heart back he continued to push her away. Over time, as the abuse escalated she came to believe that she was undeserving of love.
When the person we love most in the world treats us with contempt, we eventually internalize it and begin to believe we are simply unlovable. The problem with this narrative is that it stands in opposition to the truth. God’s Word tells us that his love for us is not dependent on what we do or don’t do. We do not need to earn it (Titus 3:4-5). He is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. He does not treat us as our sins deserve. (Psalm 103:8, 10). He truly cares about us and joins us in our distress. In fact, he cared so much that he came down and experienced the worst of human suffering on our behalf. He knows what it is like to be despised and rejected by those he loved (Isaiah 53:3-5, Matthew 26:67-68), and He did it to redeem us.
I believe Jesus came and suffered, not only to save our souls, but to show us his love by experiencing our pain. Our God is not one “who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but…one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin” (Hebrews 4:15). The word “tempted” in this verse can also refer to experiencing trials.
Dear friend, no matter what you’ve experienced, Jesus understands, and he loves you unconditionally. Regardless of what you have suffered in this life, he cares for you so much that he collects your tears in his bottle and records your sorrows in his memory book (Psalm 56:11). He is for you! Many people see suffering as a sign that God doesn’t care, or that he has abandoned them, but it is quite the opposite. When you seek him, you will find he is closest to the brokenhearted (Ps. 34:18). Trouble is not a sign of an uncaring God, but a chance to prove his love. In our pain, he invites us to draw close. He doesn’t stand far off, but “is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love…” (Zephaniah 3:17). The perfect One who created you has declared that you are beloved. I pray you will choose to believe him over the lies of a broken person. He gave his life for you, and there is no greater love than that (John 15:13).
“What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.” Romans 8:31-32, 35, 37
